Tips for Renewing Resilience

Helga Bender Coaching specializes in restoring resilience after chaotic loss.  How does that happen?  It happens by providing support, tools and creative resources for those who have suffered loss to help gain understanding, hope and vision.  This builds renewed resilience and feeling normal returns.  These three blogs will provide three tips and tools for renewing resilience.  Here is your first one.

Resilience Tip #1:  Affirm your Grief

Grief is natural and truthful reaction to great loss. With a broken leg, others sympathetically acknowledge the pain and the time needed to rebuild strength.  However, our culture often sends the message that a broken heart is wrong, the grief is wrong, and that you should “get over” it and move on. Because of this, we may tend to push down and hide our emotions of sadness and deny our valid anger both from others and even from ourselves.  Yes, grief is hard work and we need breaks from it but we must walk through it and face it to deal with it.  

Grief is a bit like a huge beach ball that is suddenly thrust into our hands.  We need to deflate the beach ball otherwise it is a struggle to do anything else.  

If we try to make a beach ball disappear by holding it under the water, it will keep bobbing up as soon as we ease up.  In the meantime, we are getting tired without deflating the beach ball. When we try to hold grief under the surface it will also only tire us.  But if we use our energy to slowly squeeze the air out of the beach ball, it will deflate and no longer bob up out of the water.  As we face grief, it gets smaller and easier to deal with.  One day we discover that it has deflated.  Like a beach ball, we can now fold up our beach ball and it does not obstruct our lives.  But we discover that the experience taught us about ourselves, our capabilities and how we want to live in the best possible way.

Join us next week for Renewing Resilience Tip #2

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